


Short Skirts and Lemon Cupcakes

by FallacyFallacy



Category: Clannad
Genre: Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, F/M, Incest roleplay, Roleplay, asexual kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 19:10:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallacyFallacy/pseuds/FallacyFallacy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tomoya doesn't really want to have sex with Nagisa. But seeing her looking up at him and murmuring "oniichan..." is something totally different altogether.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Short Skirts and Lemon Cupcakes

Two months after they start going out, they kiss for the first time.

It only lasts for a moment and then Nagisa is sitting back, cheeks stained red, looking with an anxious kind of bravery down at the floor.

Tomoya stares at her.

She doesn't really look happy so much as worried, twisting her hands in her lap. She sits and waits for him to respond but he doesn't really know what to say.

“Thank you,” he finally says, and then looks away, grimacing at the awkwardness of it all.

Then Sanae's voice rings out telling them that dinner is ready and they both jump and get up and for a long time neither of them ever talk about it again.

Nagisa is one of the strongest people he knows, but there's nothing escaping the fact that in body, she is incredibly fragile. More than that, she's so pretty and pure and innocent and beautiful that the thought of going any further with her makes his skin crawl.

It makes his skin crawl when they first start going out, and it still makes his skin crawl months later.

Three months after they start going out, it comes up again.

“At least you have Nagisa-chan to keep you warm,” Sunohara grumbles.

Tomoya stays silent.

“Ahh, it must be so nice... Her cute face looking up at you like that...” Sunohara giggles, lost in thought.

“Keep talking and I'll turn you inside out.”

“Geez, just because you have a girlfriend to be all close with doesn't mean you get to lord it over us poor girlfriendless guys...”

“Hm.” Tomoya turns the page of his magazine.

“How often do you do it, eh? Five times a week? Once a day? More?”

“That's my girlfriend you're talking about!” Tomoya finally yells, unable to restrain the spread of blush over his cheeks.

“...wait a minute. You haven't done it yet, have you!” Sunohara yells back, sounding utterly nonplussed.

Tomoya returns to his magazine angrily, blush, if anything, growing stronger. “Just because _you_ can't stop thinking about sex for five minutes doesn't mean the rest of us can't.”

Sunohara remains quiet. When Tomoya finally looks up again, he's glaring at Tomoya with one eyebrow raised in such an expression of frustrated bewilderment that the overall appearance is quite comical.

“Okazaki... don't tell me you still haven't kissed her yet.”

“We kissed.”

“Kissed.” Sunohara's eyes narrowed. “Like, once. Kissed once. In three months.”

Tomoya grits his teeth. Of all the times Sunohara could have suddenly become perceptive, he'd chosen this one. “Wait, why am I even responding to this? I don't really care what you think.”

“O-Okazaki...don't tell me you're actually...” He looks at Tomoya from side-on, eyes narrowed even further.

“I'm not _gay_ ,” Tomoya says shortly. “For fuck's sake.”

“So _that's_ why you keep coming over here even though you have a girlfriend...”

“You asked me back here because you were so bored because I've been busy with Nagisa all the time.”

“Psh. What a waste, a cute girl like Nagisa on a gay guy like you.”

“You...!” Tomoya tenses, thoroughly ready to punch him, but restrains himself. “God, just shut up. You're irritating me with your stupidity.”

“Maaan, if I had a girlfriend, I'd be all over her within the week!” Sunohara chuckles, shaking his head.

Tomoya stands up and walks over to the door.

“Wait. Are you leaving?”

“Yes.”

“Fine, go already! You're so boring now.” Tomoya closes the door and walks away. “Hey, wait! What am I supposed to do now?!”

“Why should I care?” Tomoya yells back and continues walking.

But it kinda sticks with him. Which he really hates because it has been one hundred percent proven that absolutely everything Sunohara ever says is completely worthless, but there it is.

Four months after they start going out, Kyou finds out.

“Are you kidding me.”

Tomoya sighs heavily. Nagisa looks down.

“Four months? And you've only kissed once?!”

“So? It's none of your business what we do,” he says stiffly, trying to continue his lunch.

“Of course it's my business, as a girl! Acting cowardly like that is hurting poor Nagisa-chan!”

“U-um...Kyou-chan...” Nagisa raises her hands tentatively. “I-I don't really mind...”

“Nonsense!” Kyou slams her fist down onto the stone seat. Impressively, she doesn't flinch. “All girls want to be kissed by their boyfriends!” She levels Tomoya a scornful look. “There's being chivalrous and then there's just being a wimp.”

Nagisa wilts a little, which only makes Tomoya angrier. “Hey, try to protect Nagisa all you want, but don't insult her in the process. How do you know we're not perfectly happy this way?”

Kyou's eyes narrow. “Don't tell me Youhei was right...”

Tomoya groans. “And like I said: since when has anything Sunohara said been even slightly true?”

“That _would_ be a miracle,” Kyou agrees with a firm nod. “But keeping your hands to yourself around a cute girl like Nagisa...that's even more impossible! I'd have kissed her within the first week.”

“Actually...” Nagisa smiles comfortingly. “I really don't mind! I mean, we're going out, and that's enough for me...”

Kyou sighs, shaking her head, and wraps an arm around Nagisa's shoulders. “Hey, hey, you shouldn't have to deal with that, though, you know? If you want to kiss him, just do it. He might look cool sometimes, but your boyfriend's an idiot. He'll never take a hint.”

“I look cool sometimes?”

“Slightly cool. Minisculely. It's barely noticeable, really. Besides, this is from Nagisa's point of view.”

“Actually, I already did!” Nagisa says, and Kyou stares. “That time we kissed was because of me.”

Kyou turns to Tomoya slowly. He bristles.

She smiles.

“Get your act together soon,” she says cheerfully, sending chills running down his spine. “Or I might just have to accidentally drop a match on your clothes!”

“K-K-Kyou-chan...!” Nagisa wails, trembling, but Kyou only pats her shoulder.

Tomoya glares.

Five months after they start going out, they kiss for the second time.

It's Nagisa again, eyes wide and searching. Her hands linger on his arms. It was the natural extension of a moment, theoretically, but it's unavoidable that his slowness to respond has turned her thank you for his comment into a Thing.

Tomoya looks down. “So you want to kiss me?”

“Do you?” Nagisa asks, quietly.

Tomoya rubs the back of his neck, looking away. “Look... I've just...never really been interested in all that kind of stuff.”

Nagisa lowers her arms, crossing her hands in her lap. “But you're a boy.”

“Yeah, well. Guess I'm just weird, then. Wouldn't be the first time.”

Nagisa is quiet. “Is it because of me?”

_Yes_ , Tomoya thinks. _Partially_ , Tomoya thinks. “No,” Tomoya says. It's the truth.

He turns to her. “If you want to do that, we can. And, well...we're going out. You know how I feel about you. But if we never ended up doing any of that kind of stuff, I guess...that'd be okay. That's all.”

Nagisa's eyes are still wide, expression blank. Tomoya turns away, Kyou's words ringing in his head. He is quite possibly the worst boyfriend.

Finally, Nagisa sighs, a little high-pitched 'hm!' of happiness. When Tomoya turns back she's smiling at him.

“Eheh...me, too! I thought it was just because I'm a girl, but... I'd kinda...like it if we did it that way...”

Nagisa's smile, relieved and sympathetic, causes a familiar little roll in Tomoya's stomach. Somewhat tentatively, he reaches for her, wrapping his arms around her back, holding her close.

“Is this okay?” he murmurs.

Nagisa sighs again, breath tinged with a giggle. “Very...”

*

“Here they are!” Nagisa says, placing the plate of cupcakes on the floor in front of them.

“They smell delicious.” Tomoya reaches for one immediately, the soft texture crumbling slightly over his fingers.

“Try them!” Nagisa takes one, too, folding her little socked feet under her on the futon, leaning against Tomoya's side. Without thinking, his other hand comes up to rest by her neck.

Soft rain patters against the window as Tomoya bites down, rolling the moist lemony mixture around in his mouth. He swallows and smiles broadly. “It's great!”

“Not too sweet? Then I'm glad...!” Nagisa says in relief, sinking further into her large jumper, pulling it just far enough away from her fingers that she could eat without getting crumbs inside. Delicately, she draws her other small hand beneath her mouth and nibbles at the cake.

Tomoya takes another bite, fingers gently probing the sensitive skin at her hairline. Nagisa squirms a little, chin almost ducking down into the neck of her sweater. “Mmmm,” she murmurs quietly, almost inaudible over the loud hum of the radiator, and rubs her red cheek against Tomoya's arm.

“Hehe...I can't concentrate when you do that...” she says sleepily, shifting her fingers over the mini cupcake so she can take another bite.

Tomoya pops the last into his mouth, the distinct zesty taste making him melt almost as much as the girl beside him, and swallows it with a sigh.

“They're beautiful. You need to make these again.”

“Ahh, I'm glad,” she repeats. “It's hard to find desserts that aren't too sweet...”

“I'd be happy with anything you cooked for me.”

Tomoya brushes her neck again, tapping at the sensitive skin there. Nagisa giggles more loudly, her shoulders going up and down, and holds onto her cupcake tightly.

“Thank you...”

Tomoya looks over to the plate again and reaches for a cupcake, but can't quite manage to retrieve one without disturbing Nagisa. So he drops his hand back to his lap, by the hem of Nagisa's skirt where it peeks out from the bottom of her sweater.

She looks beautiful, all bundled up and warm and smiling languidly beside him, slowly taking in the final warm, soft pieces of the cake she baked with her own two hands. The rain is still falling just as it has been all day, but that only seems to make this house – their house – seem all the brighter. The two of them, a couple of cushions, their futon, and not much else. But it's theirs.

Nagisa finishes her last bite, pressing her lips together to capture the final crumbs, and then delicately licks at her fingertips.

“You look tired.”

Nagisa shakes her head. “Just warm...”

She leans forward to take a second cupcake so Tomoya does the same, both falling back immediately into their previous position.

“...same,” Tomoya says, and Nagisa smiles.

It's wonderful. It's amazing. It's everything Tomoya could ever have wanted after graduation – a beautiful, loving girlfriend, his own house, a steady job.

And yet as he draws little circles on Nagisa's skin and leans over to place a kiss on the side of her forehead, he feels a vague, strangely familiar sense of desire. Not for sex, thankfully – to his own surprise, he really has been perfectly happy the way they are. But something somewhat like it.

It doesn't bother him. Compared with the way he felt while he was in high school, this slight dissatisfaction is laughably minor. But he does wonder now and then.

*

After Tomoya comes home and Nagisa kisses him and he puts away his bag, she steps out of the kitchen for a moment, eyes bright.

“I talked to Mei-chan again today!”

Tomoya snorts, rolling his shoulders to rid them of the day's aches. That sure is a nostalgic name... “How's she doing?”

“Very well! She'll be starting high school next year, so Youhei-san is helping her out.”

“Really?” he says doubtfully, sitting down on a futon. Nagisa follows, apron over the school uniform she must have never changed out of.

“Yep! He's actually quite reliable when it comes to Mei-chan, it seems!” Nagisa tilts her head to one side. “It must be nice to have an older brother like that...”

Tomoya freezes.

Nagisa shrugs a little. “Though...I never really had any siblings at all, so maybe any kind would be nice...”

She sits down beside him. There is a quiet bubbling sound coming from the kitchen, but the dinner is apparently fine for now.

Tomoya looks at her out of the corner of his eye. “But...the relationship between an older brother and younger sister is special, don't you think?”

“Maybe! I guess you got to see that with Youhei-san, so you'd know more than me!”

“Nah, Sunohara was always kind of a shitty older brother. I didn't even know he had a sister until our final year.”

“Oh, really...?” Nagisa says, sounding disappointed.

She doesn't have anything else to say, so silence descends. Tomoya chews on his tongue, turning the words in his head over again and again. But a strange kind of energy has suffused him again, prickly and hot. Desire.

“Would you...like to have an older brother?”

Nagisa looks up at him, cheeks red. “Erm...s-sorry, that probably sounds really weird, doesn't it...?”

Tomoya shakes his head. “No, not at all. To be honest...” His cheeks go redder. But they're going out, aren't they? Normally, they would be having sex by now. So this wasn't weird.

No, he thinks to himself. Even if they were having sex this would be weird.

“I...wouldn't mind...having a younger sister.”

Nagisa's eyes go wide, and then she looks down, fiddling with the sleeves of her jacket. “S-so...” she begins, and even Tomoya can't bring himself to watch. “So...If I called you 'oniichan'...that would be good?”

Tomoya's face goes red. Even in the context of her quoting it, hearing her say that... He resolutely turns away. No doubt right now Nagisa is blushing nervously, maybe looking up at him from beneath her bangs, or maybe looking shyly down at the ground...

No. No, this is definitely too much.

“If you want to,” he says finally.

Nagisa pauses, and then giggles. “Ah, it _is_ a little weird, isn't it? But...” She pauses again, and when she speaks, her voice is lower in a way Tomoya has never heard before. “I think I...do.”

A shiver runs down Tomoya's spine.

He hears shifting and makes the mistake of looking at her again. She's fiddling with the sleeves of her jacket, biting her lip thoughtfully. Nagisa glances up at him, then down again, cheeks slowly going red.

Finally, she brings her eyes to him again.

“O-oniichan...”

Tomoya stares at her for approximately 0.6 seconds before his face goes the approximate colour and temperature of a particularly hot red pepper and turns away again, hunched over as he tries to regain his breath.

“Um! Was that...okay?”

Tomoya swallows a lump. “Yes,” he says finally. “Yes, that was...more than okay.”

Silence descends again, and Tomoya manages to slow his breathing down again. As he waits for another response, he suddenly remembers – he's meant to be the big brother, too.

Oh fuck, he thinks, closing his eyes briefly. This is going to be the death of me...

But he sighs and opens his eyes and turns to smile at Nagisa again.

“Yes, that was a great job, Nagisa.”

Nagisa smiles brightly, hands balled into little fists. “Thanks, oniichan!”

Moments later as Tomoya slams his face repeatedly into the ground, Nagisa wailing and hovering next to him, he has course to reflect: _this is either the best or worst idea I've ever had._

*

“S-so... you still want to keep going with it...?”

Tomoya sighs, massaging his temples. After his reaction earlier, he supposes he really shouldn't blame her for being so hesitant. “Yes. I do. I just...need to get used to it.”

Nagisa nods slowly, looking down. “Aha...I didn't realise it meant so much to you...”

I guess you could put it that way...

“But...It kinda makes me happy...being able to do something that makes you so happy.”

Tomoya drops his head. Of course Nagisa would think that way. Such a kind girl as her... Of course she would enjoy making him happy above all else. And as selfish as the idea sounded... it would probably be worse to deny her just because he feels a little uncomfortable about it.

“And...you enjoyed it, too, right?”

Nagisa lets out a short, nervous laugh. “Um...yeah.” She pauses, then laughs again. “It's kinda weird, isn't it? Since I'm actually a year older than you...” She looks up, gesturing to herself. “Maybe you should be the one calling me 'oneechan'!”

“No,” Tomoya says firmly before he thinks to stop himself. At Nagisa's expression, he quickly explains: “er, it's just that younger sisters are cuter than older sisters. To me, anyway.”

“I see,” Nagisa says slowly. “And...I guess I look more like a younger sister than an older sister, huh...” Her voice is odd, like she's not sure whether that's a good or a bad thing.

Tomoya takes her hand and catches her eye, smiling. “I think you look beautiful.”

Nagisa blushes a little. “And cute?”

“Very cute.”

Nagisa stares at him for a few moments, then takes in a deep breath. “So, uh... what should we do, then?”

“What do you mean?”

“W-well, what kind of things should...younger sister and older brother do together? Not right now!” she amends hastily, waving her hands, as Tomoya looks away again. “But, um...another time?”

Tomoya glances back at her. He has a truly adorable girlfriend living with him who is perfectly happy to do all of the younger sister/older brother roleplay he wants.

This is way, way, way too much...

*

“I'm home!” Tomoya calls, and immediately Nagisa rushes out of the kitchen, again wearing an apron, but this time with a cute dress over a long sleeved shirt underneath.

“Welcome back, oniichan!” she chirps.

Tomoya shivers, but forces a smile. “Ah-ahh, it's good to see you.” He hugs her, and Nagisa giggles. Tomoya's head swims.

Pulling back, Nagisa smiles again, holding up a spoon. “I'm just finishing dinner for you – I'm making tonkatsu!”

Tomoya's eyes widen, already licking his lips at the thought. His favourite. He snorts and ruffles Nagisa's hair. “What did I do to deserve a cute sister like you?”

Nagisa giggles more loudly, holding on to Tomoya's shirt with her other hand. “Ehehe...thanks, oniichan!”

Then she stops, stepping back. “Actually, is it okay for me to be making dinner?”

Tomoya stares. “...uh, what do you mean?”

“Well...a little sister normally wouldn't do that, would she...” Nagisa frowns, putting her finger to her lip. “I mean, where do you think their parents are?”

Slowly removing his bag, Tomoya makes his way further into the room. “Er, maybe they're just away or something? On holidays?”

“Oooh, yeah! Maybe they're away all the time, and that's why she can cook, then? And you have to work because you have to support us! And that's why they're so close – because ever since they were young all they had was each other so they had to depend on one another!”

Nagisa is smiling brightly. Tomoya kinda shrugs.

“Eheh...sorry! It's just fun to get into character, you know?”

Tomoya closes his eyes, remembering. “Somehow, it makes me feel a bit weird to think that your childhood desires to act ended up this way...”

“But if it makes my lover happy, it's okay, right? I-if it bothers you, we can stop...”

“No, it's good.”

“Actually, this dress is from when I was younger, too!” Nagisa twirls, letting the skirt float around in a pretty way, almost revealing her underwear. Realising that, she stops with a blush. “It's a little embarrassing, but... Well, I don't know how old I'm meant to be, but I wore this a lot before I started high school...”

Tomoya puts his head onto his knees. It's official – he's a pervert. And now he's corrupted Nagisa, too. Nobody will ever forgive him.

Nagisa crouches down next to him, patting his shoulder tentatively. “U-um...oniichan...are you okay?”

“I think we should stop for the night,” Tomoya manages to say. “Not forever, just...for tonight.”

Nagisa continues to pat. “Eheheh...”

*

“So! Um...” Nagisa rocks back and forth a little, hands clasped behind her back. “Would you mind if...we did it again?”

Tomoya looks up from his magazine, eyebrow quirked. “Did what?”

“You know! The...older brother thing.”

“Oh.” Tomoya closes the magazine, trying to sort his thoughts.

Nagisa sits down beside him, legs beneath her. “Just, since you said you wanted to keep doing it, but we haven't yet... I thought about just trying it again, but you've been so busy, and I know that it's kinda – well – that you really – that it's kind of – intense?”

Tomoya nods and shrugs simultaneously. “Yeah. But, just... isn't it...embarrassing to do all that stuff?” He looks at her finally, seriously. “You seem to be able to do it so easily.”

“Of course it is,” Nagisa responds instantly, making Tomoya's eyes widen. “That first time, I had to psyche myself up for hours before you got home!” Nagisa clenches her fists and gives a determined look, as though to give Tomoya a helpful visual representation. “But...well, you want to do it. And I do, too. So in the end, I really didn't mind!”

Tomoya looks down, feeling strangely humbled. “You really are...working hard on this, aren't you?”

Nagisa smiles. “Yep!”

Tomoya frowns down at the carpet. Maybe, overcoming his embarrassment about all of this is just another way of trying hard and helping out Nagisa. Maybe at the moment he's just sitting here hoping that his problems will solve themselves while Nagisa is actually making things better. Maybe he needs to just grow a fucking pair and think up some little sister situations for his girlfriend to act out for him.

“Let's do it,” he says, determined.

Nagisa blushes, but claps her hands together. “Right!”

*

When Nagisa comes out of the bathroom, she's wearing her pyjamas – cute, pale blue ones with little yellow ducks all over. But she's looking down at the ground unhappily, rubbing her shoulders.

Tomoya looks up. “Are you all right?”

Nagisa smiles faintly and plops down next to him. “Eheh...yeah – it's fine, oniichan!”

Tomoya strokes the top of her head. Nagisa leans in to the touch immediately. “Hey, hey. I'm your big brother, aren't I? You can trust me.”

“Well...” Nagisa fiddles with her sleeve. “It's just... I've been having some bad dreams lately?”

“What? Really?” Tomoya lets his hand run to her shoulder, drawing her to his side. “What about?”

Nagisa sighs. “I don't know. Just...bad things.”

“Nothing bad's been going on with you lately, has it?”

“No.”

“Really?”

Nagisa giggles, knocking her head into Tomoya's chest. “No, oniichan. It's fine, really! Well, I guess...” she says unexpectedly, twiddling her fingers. “I've felt sort of lonely lately... what with mama and papa and all...”

Tomoya snorts, but then hugs Nagisa again and kisses her forehead. “Yeah. But don't worry – I'll always be here for you, Nagisa.”

Nagisa is gazing up at him, eyes sparkling. “Oniichan...”

“Hey, why don't you sleep with me tonight? Do you think that would help?”

“...Mm!” Nagisa agrees, smiling brightly.

Tomoya flushes. That smiling face... it's so hard to keep calm around it... But bravely, he continues on. “I'm sure we'll find a way to take your mind off it...”

“E-eh?!” Nagisa says, going red, but before she can react further Tomoya has pounced, digging his fingers into her cute little sides and tickling.

“S-stop! Stop it, oniichan! No-” Nagisa cries out in between laughs, falling back onto the futon. As Tomoya gloats, she gets her knee up to push him away and, in return, dives at Tomoya's neck, tickling him back.

“N-no! I won't...surrender!”

“Neither will-” Nagisa breaks off into a loud snort and then immediately bites her lip, trying to keep the noise down.

Eventually, Tomoya relents, falling onto the futon beside Nagisa and letting her get her last tickles in.

“That's it – that's it! I'm done.”

“Yess!” Nagisa pumps her fist and then shuffles closer to Tomoya, curling up next to him.

“I love you, oniichan,” she says softly.

Tomoya smiles, turning over onto his side so he can put his arm around her. “You, too, Nagisa.”

Nagisa wraps her little fingers into his shirt, ducking her head firmly into his chest. “Heh...”

Tomoya plays with the ends of her hair, turning circles with the little strands.

“Good?” Nagisa says quietly after a moment.

“Very good,” he says, and when she giggles, holds her closer.


End file.
